I will be the first to say…. I have a type. In fact, I possess a list of things that I want in a man. In hindsight, I kind of hate myself for making that list. You know the only things that should be on that list?

1. Loves me.
2. Has good taste in music.

That’s it. I mean, yes, I should find him attractive, but life has definitely taught me that there’s not just one type of guy I can be attracted to. In fact, the person I have loved the most in my life is the one who is the least like my previously proclaimed ‘type’. That’s because ‘types’ are utter bullshit. They’re an imaginary standard to which no real person can stand up. And the truth is, if you *really* fall in love, it doesn’t fucking matter what your lover looks like. Have you ever felt that? Have you ever looked at someone’s face, and realized that as you fell for them, their face became unbelievably beautiful? I hope everybody gets to experience that at one time or another.

The point is… People who are so wrapped up in finding someone who is just their type… They’re robbing themselves of the chance to look at a person, *anyone*, and say “I don’t know you. I never imagined that someone like you existed. I cannot conceive of who you are, or for what you stand… But I want to.”As opposed to “Eh. You seem alright. But next to this angel that exists in my mind, you just aren’t cutting it. What’s that you say? Oh. No. Your mind is irrelevant. Someday I’ll meet someone who is physically an exact match for this person in my head, and I’m sure that his/her mind will also be perfect when I find them.” Does that sound familiar? Sometimes I feel like that’s the way that most of us think.

Have you ever loved somebody so entirely, but just weren’t their type? Have you ever *been* with someone and felt like you were constantly reminded that you weren’t just like the lover in their head? Have you changed something about yourself for someone? Those are all horrible, horrible things. They come from this bullshit mentality of our day and age that says “You can have everything customized. Everything exactly how you want it! Pick and choose. Blonde, big tits, small waist, perfectly round ass, sir? Check, check, check, and check. Broad shoulders, blue eyes, perfect smile, lumberjack arms and a six pack? Coming right up, ma’am.”

My friends… People are not dolls. You don’t get to pick and choose. If you want that, I recommend you look into purchasing one of these:

http://www.realdoll.com/cgi-bin/snav.rd

You might have to save up for quite a while. In the meantime, I suggest you look at the real girl or boy sitting next to you. You might realize that they are more wonderful than anything your mind could dream. You might find real love with a real person.

1. Paint… paint, paint, PAINT. 
2. Read as many books as possible, and the widest variety that I can. 
3. Ride my bike in that time of the evening when it gets cool and the sky is like a wash of watercolors.
4. Save my money.
5. Go on a road trip with someone special. 
6. Volunteer at the animal shelter and/or one of the low income free nurseries. 
7. Work out more in order to get a flatter stomach and an even better arse ;D
8. Decorate the world with colored chalk. 
9. Take pictures of anything and everything… Master my manual film camera. 
10. Write in my journal faithfully, the way that I used to.   
11. Get up early enough to hear the birds, and go walking or running.
12. Go out and draw the things that I see in a sketchbook. 
13. Get good at drawing people. Faces, bodies, the whole shebang. 
14. Swim more. 
15. Pierce tragus and/or nose. 
16. Wear lots of sunscreen, and avoid going tanning. Pale is beautiful AND healthier. 
17. Write haiku [plural]. Try to compose a sonnet. Do poetry in general. Just diversify it. 
18. Cook dinner to help out mom. Bake healthy sweets that Dad is allowed to eat. 
19. Sing out loud without regard to who is listening. 
20. Spend late nights with the people I love, people watching on the walking mall. 
21. Finish the quilt I started last year. Make use of my sewing machine. 
22. Dye hair.
23. Perfect rolling skills. 
24. Explore the back roads. Get lost somewhere. 
25. Sleep with the windows open so that I can hear the sounds of summer nights… The trains in the distance… 
26. Write a short story. 
27. Make other people smile as much as possible. 
28. Learn new things of my own accord. 
29. Grow herbs. 
30. Stop biting my nails. Again. 
31. Get up and go to the flea market with dad. Look for useful little treasures. Get him to teach me how to haggle. 
32. Get rid of all the clothes that don’t fit, and that I don’t like anymore. 
33. Clean out my room in general. Organize it. 
34. Kiss somebody under that big, bright, beautiful Virginia moon.
35. Stop being angry. Let shit go. 
36. Get to the place where I used to be… When I couldn’t keep in my smile… When I was genuinely happy and vibrant. 
    
    
37. Breathe… Slow, deep. 
38. Feel better. 

• Think of how stupid the average person is, and realize half of them are stupider than that.
• The reason I talk to myself is because I’m the only one whose answers I accept.
• Religion has convinced people that there’s an invisible man…living in the sky, who watches everything you do every minute of every day. And the invisible man has a list of ten specific things he doesn’t want you to do. And if you do any of these things, he will send you to a special place, of burning and fire and smoke and torture and anguish for you to live forever, and suffer and burn and scream until the end of time. But he loves you. He loves you and he needs money.
• If it requires a uniform, it’s a worthless endeavor.

• As soon as someone is identified as an unsung hero, he no longer is.
• The IQ and the life expectancy of the average American recently passed each other in opposite directions.
• Isn’t it a bit unnerving that doctors call what they do “practice”?
• I think it’s the duty of the comedian to find out where the line is drawn and cross it deliberately.
• Have you noticed that most of the women who are against abortion are women you wouldn’t want to fuck in the first place? There’s such balance in nature.
• Here’s a bumper sticker I’d like to see: “We are the proud parents of a child whose self-esteem is sufficient that he doesn’t need us promoting his minor scholastic achievements on the back of our car.”
• I love and treasure individuals as I meet them; I loathe and despise the groups they identify with and belong to.
• Have you ever wondered why Republicans are so interested in encouraging people to volunteer in their communities? It’s because volunteers work for no pay. Republicans have been trying to get people to work for no pay for a long time.
• Once you leave the womb, conservatives don’t care about you until you reach military age. Then you’re just what they’re looking for. Conservatives want live babies so they can raise them to be dead soldiers.
• “One thing leads to another”? Not always. Sometimes one thing leads to the same thing. Ask an addict.
• The real reason that we can’t have the Ten Commandments in a courthouse: You cannot post “Thou shalt not steal,” “Thou shalt not commit adultery,” and “Thou shalt not lie” in a building full of lawyers, judges, and politicians. It creates a hostile work environment.
• The only good thing ever to come out of religion was the music.
• “When Will Jesus Bring the Pork Chops?” This title offends all three major religions, and even vegetarians!
• Thou shalt keep thy religion to thyself.
• If all our national holidays were observed on Wednesdays, we could wind up with nine-day weekends.
• If a man smiles all the time, he’s probably selling something that doesn’t work.
• Instead of warning pregnant women not to drink, I think female alcoholics ought to be told not to fuck.
• You can’t argue with a good blowjob.
• I don’t have a fear of heights. I do, however, have a fear of falling from heights.
• Fighting for peace is like screwing for virginity.