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Hey stranger. I've had this blog for quite a while, and I toy with it on occasion. Now, its this odd thing that contains the old me and the new me all at once... You're probably here because you're bored, and I don't presume to be the most interesting person in the world. This is just the place where I dump my thoughts and my emotions and other such tidbits. If you want words, I have plenty. Perhaps too many. Musings and prose and poetry and babbling. Flowery words, curse words. All kinds of words. Enjoy.
a bunch of clever George Carlin quotes :]

  • Think of how stupid the average person is, and realize half of them are stupider than that.
  • The reason I talk to myself is because I’m the only one whose answers I accept.
  • Religion has convinced people that there’s an invisible man…living in the sky, who watches everything you do every minute of every day. And the invisible man has a list of ten specific things he doesn’t want you to do. And if you do any of these things, he will send you to a special place, of burning and fire and smoke and torture and anguish for you to live forever, and suffer and burn and scream until the end of time. But he loves you. He loves you and he needs money.
  • If it requires a uniform, it’s a worthless endeavor.
  • As soon as someone is identified as an unsung hero, he no longer is.
  • The IQ and the life expectancy of the average American recently passed each other in opposite directions.
  • Isn’t it a bit unnerving that doctors call what they do “practice”?
  • I think it’s the duty of the comedian to find out where the line is drawn and cross it deliberately.
  • Have you noticed that most of the women who are against abortion are women you wouldn’t want to fuck in the first place? There’s such balance in nature.
  • Here’s a bumper sticker I’d like to see: “We are the proud parents of a child whose self-esteem is sufficient that he doesn’t need us promoting his minor scholastic achievements on the back of our car.”
  • I love and treasure individuals as I meet them; I loathe and despise the groups they identify with and belong to.
  • Have you ever wondered why Republicans are so interested in encouraging people to volunteer in their communities? It’s because volunteers work for no pay. Republicans have been trying to get people to work for no pay for a long time.
  • Once you leave the womb, conservatives don’t care about you until you reach military age. Then you’re just what they’re looking for. Conservatives want live babies so they can raise them to be dead soldiers.
  • “One thing leads to another”? Not always. Sometimes one thing leads to the same thing. Ask an addict.
  • The real reason that we can’t have the Ten Commandments in a courthouse: You cannot post “Thou shalt not steal,” “Thou shalt not commit adultery,” and “Thou shalt not lie” in a building full of lawyers, judges, and politicians. It creates a hostile work environment.
  • The only good thing ever to come out of religion was the music.
  • “When Will Jesus Bring the Pork Chops?” This title offends all three major religions, and even vegetarians!
  • Thou shalt keep thy religion to thyself.
  • If all our national holidays were observed on Wednesdays, we could wind up with nine-day weekends.
  • If a man smiles all the time, he’s probably selling something that doesn’t work.
  • Instead of warning pregnant women not to drink, I think female alcoholics ought to be told not to fuck.
  • You can’t argue with a good blowjob.
  • I don’t have a fear of heights. I do, however, have a fear of falling from heights.
  • Fighting for peace is like screwing for virginity.

Posted 1 year ago with 1 note

  1. chelsalea posted this
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